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There's Worse Places To Leave Your Wife

from Disappear Here by Hannah McPhillimy

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about

"There's worse places to leave your woman than Oregon: Oklahoma City for one. I thought long and hard about leaving Martha in Portland. She should thank her lucky stars I didn't dump her in Idaho..."

Jimmy Orange, Chapter 3 (pg 50)

With gratitude (and apologies) to my good friends from Portadown!

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lyrics

Intro

There was a time when Martha was, the biggest apple of my eye.
Purdy as the statue of Liberty, with legs skyscraper high.
It felt so nice, it seemed so right to take our marriage vows,
But by the time I got started on that death do us part bit,
knew it was time I said good bye.

Verse 1

I could have left her at the border of Idaho,
But nothing good's come out of there since the potato.
And at Martha's age and stage she don't need more carbohydrates,
There's worse places to leave your wife than in Portland.

Verse 2

I could have left her with a burly old Alaskan,
But for half the year there's not much sun to bask in.
And without UVs, Martha can be hard to see,
There's worse places to leave your wife than in Portland.

MIddle 8
I thought I might go, when we got to Toronto.
A land flowing with maple syrup - who would't want to be left all alone??
But then they opened up their mouths, I knew I'd have to turn around.

They say 'aboot', what's that about?
She'll have enough to figure out.

So I planned a different route and went to Portland.

Verse 3

I could have left her in the sorry state I found her in,
Oklahoma serving pie to charming businessmen,
But I couldn't risk her being blown into my lap by a cyclone...

There's worse places to leave your wife - Detroit's not safe to walk at night.
There's worse places to leave your wife - in Salt Lake City she could soon be one of 5.
There's worse places to leave your wife - like (insert place of your choice), but I'm not a sadist guys!!

There's worse places to leave your wife, than in Portland!

There's worse - I've researched - places to leave your wife!

I could have left her in the sorry state

credits

from Disappear Here, released July 22, 2015

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Hannah McPhillimy Belfast, UK

Tickets for Stranded and Origin gigs, respectively, are in the bit.ly links below!

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